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Divided Heart

by Kristin Hoffmann

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1.
Mary 04:17
Sometimes when I open my eyes I see the things that I can't hide Emptiness hanging from the shadows on the wall Sometimes when I open my ears Hear all the things I don't want to hear 4AM, faith is lost, she's screaming out again And I say... Mary, Mary Mother full of light When you gonna come down And save us Save us from this night Oh, I say Mary, Mary When you gonna hear When you gonna come down And take away This bucket full This bucket full of tears? I tried to compromise Saw the world through other's eyes In the end, the battle came and left me on the ground So many ways to fall We seem to find them all Tripping through the rubble as we fight within ourselves And I say... Mary, Mary Mother full of light When you gonna come down And save us Save us from this night Oh, I say Mary, Mary When you gonna hear When you gonna come down And take away This bucket full This bucket full of tears? Impossible, impossible All the things that we make implausible, implausible Implausible, all the things that become impossible We risk it all We pay the toll To a place we've never been before I won't be going back now Mary, Mary When you gonna fly When you gonna come down And say the words to hush this endless cry Oh, I say Mary, Mary When you gonna hear When you gonna come down And take away This bucket full This bucket full of tears? Whoa, Whoa, Mary This bucket full This bucket full This bucket full Ooo This bucket full This bucket full This bucket full Ooo Bucket full Bucket full of tears
2.
It's A Game 03:48
Why can't I feel this when it's gone? Is this suffering? I listened to you breathing on the telephone It was hard for me I've been asking out loud Where do I belong? And yes, this is taking a toll on me So I write this song And I'll pray To save myself And I'll fight Just to force it out And I'll cry When there's nothing more to say It's a game, it's a game that I choose to play Defenses noted but not ignored So you got a hold of me I took my position, I played my card I'm so sorry baby But I offered my heart And I can't give no more than love Than love, than all my love So we'll pray To save ourselves And we'll fight Just to force it out And we'll cry When there's nothing more to say It's a game, it's a game that we choose to play
3.
It's three o'clock in the morning And I still can't close my eyes Your smile keeps haunting my mind Haunting my mind Ghosts of us in every object Memories in every sound It's strange not having you around So strange not having you around I get this urge to run back into your arms That held me too tight And I get this craving to be part of your life That couldn't end the fight And I'm wondering where you are now At this time of night Oh I'm still loving you, still loving you But our time wasn't right Our time wasn't right It's time to start living life again When's this pain going to end? 'Cause it's tearing up my soul I've gotten so far from who I am Trying to make us feel new 'Cause I'm scared to live without you So scared to live without you I get this urge to run back into your arms That held me too tight And I get this craving to be part of your life That couldn't end the fight And I'm wondering where you are now At this time of night Oh I'm still loving you, still loving you But our time wasn't right Our time wasn't right When's this gonna change? When's this gonna change? 'Cause my dreams of life are shattering I get this urge to run back into your arms That held me too tight And I get this craving to be part of your life That couldn't end the fight And I'm wondering where you are now At this time of night Oh I'm still loving you, still loving you But our time wasn't right Our time wasn't right
4.
You, you touch me with With moments of delight Searching me For inner being light And I, I have seen your mind I, I know how to hide Divided heart I know you are watching me When I go down to the river in the night Down to the river Divided heart I know you are hearing me When I lay down my confessions I lay down my confessions to your light You, you catch me in Deceit of what I've found Tripping through My moments of profound And I, I know how to tell a lie I, I know how to hide Divided heart I know you are watching me When I go down to the river in the night Down to the river Divided heart I know you are hearing me When I lay down my confessions I lay down my confessions to your light You, you catch me in Deceit of what I might have been Then I'm dying And I'm begging for your healing touch Any you, you make me feel Summer sunlight then darkest chill And I'm crazy, Oh I'm crazy, crazy over you Craving for you Tie me up, undone again I am divided Tie me up and down again Divided heart Divided heart I know you are watching me When I go down to the river in the night Down to the river Divided heart I know you are hearing me When I lay down my confessions I lay down my confessions to your light
5.
Temple 04:31
Color me With your wild night dream Oh when you called When you called, you called my name Color me sweet Sweet as summer night roses Falling down Falling down around our feet Emotion And devotion We step into our temple to be seen This kind of worship will set us free Cycles mistrust Cycles of envy Oh when they call When they call to take you back Open your eyes To these night time hunters 'Til they fall 'Til they fall along your path Emotion And devotion We step into our temple to be seen This kind of worship will set us free Oh, when I'm I'm alone I I can feel you A lucid daydream Oh, it poured down Through the night sky All around us The world was dancing And we were singing Color me With your wild night dream When you called When you called, you called my name Color me sweet Sweet as summer night roses Falling down Falling around our feet Emotion And devotion We step into our temple to be seen This kind of worship will set us free
6.
Never 03:37
There's a fire burning Somewhere under my skin And in the night it devours me Trying to pull me in And there's no comfort in commitment Just an open jealous tomb And the more I surrender The less I'm trusting of you Take me down from decision Let me breathe from my soul If I stop worrying about tomorrow I will never grow old And their eyes keep on staring Trying to break me with time So I keep fighting the battle Aiming to save my mind And over there they are fussing Over here lies dissatisfaction I just asked for some quiet Just a moment away from the action Take me down from decision Let me breathe from my soul If I stop worrying about tomorrow I will never grow old You're never gonna tear me down You're never gonna break my heart You're never gonna steal my soul No you're never gonna never And you know I'm gonna speak my mind And you're never gonna take that away No, you're never gonna take that away I said never, never, no you're never, never No, you're never gonna take that away from me From me
7.
Black was the curtain that you placed before my eyes I kept returning to the jealousy and lies But now I know that there will be no more tears Upon my pillow, pillow, my pillow Don't tell me about it As I'm heading towards the door Don't tell me about it You should have tried to change before Don't tell me about it I don't want to hear a sound Don't tell me about it my love I'm going to leave you now You found a rage in me that no one's touched before You turned a page in me, I sent you to the floor But now I'm telling you there'll be no more screams Into my pillow, pillow, my pillow Don't tell me about it As I'm heading towards the door Don't tell me about it You should have tried to change before Don't tell me about it I don't want to hear a sound Don't tell me about it my love I'm going to leave you now Take was the name of the game that you played with me Take take me more away From the things that I did At the end of the day I was cold, so cold But now I said that I'm done with the way that you treated me I won't be standing alone Don't tell me about it As I'm heading towards the door Don't tell me about it You should have tried to change before Don't tell me about it I don't want to hear a sound Don't tell me about it my love I'm going to leave you now
8.
On Fire 03:49
Take down the pictures from the wall No use in turning memories through your head Clean between the cracks in the floor Shake the familiar scent from your bed From your bed, and your head 'Cause if I offered you my life I'd be on fire in your love And if I promised you my heart I'd be on fire, live on fire Don't you know, don't you know? Make believe that nothing ever was Dream of a better place where it's warm Walk down the streets with open eyes Put on a smile for all the ladies Put on a smile for all the ladies Smile smile smile 'Cause if I offered you my life I'd be on fire in your love And if I promised you my heart Oh no And if I stayed with you tonight I'd dance like fire in your arms But that won't make these feeling right Lay down the bitter choices Save your anger for the morning When the sun breaks let it soak you Let it take you, make you holy, love Don't you know? 'Cause if I offered you my life I'd be on fire in your love And if I promised you my heart Oh no And if I stayed with you tonight I'd dance like fire in your arms But that won't make these feelings right Oh no
9.
A searchlight On the night sky When I find you I see a sign of life Shine, shine Throw your mysteries aside Lay down your light And we'll go dancing through the night You got to lay down your light You're beautiful, beautiful Come into the night You're a soft light In the distance And when you come to me The most beautiful thing that I ever did see And I, no longer terrified I'll give you all I can't hide Lay down your light And I'll go dance into your night You got to lay down your light You're beautiful, beautiful You know you got to lay down your light And we'll go dancing through the night You got to lay down your light You're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful All is new tonight Only you can hide Lay down your light And we'll go dancing through the night You got to lay down your light You're beautiful, beautiful You know you got to lay down You're beautiful, beautiful
10.
New York City takes me over In these nights when I'm alone Café corners, hung with strangers Gulping down a bitter soul Wouldn't mind the peace of going back home And meeting a knowing smile Where Sunday tastes of confession booth sins And Monday comes with new denial I am pretty good at nothing When I think that I'm a star Flying ego over mountains Spacious skies of who we are Wouldn't mind the peace of rewinding the time Give me blank paper and pen I'd feel ease in calling you mine But then I'd know it's just pretend Gotta find a better space Where I recognize my face I begin to cry Emotions churning Gotta find some peace of mind Somewhere in between these lines 'Cause I begin to die when my fire's burning Ocean turning New York City, I'm uncertain Think I lost round Chelsea Town Café corner, I'm a stranger Hold me close and take me down

credits

released August 14, 2002

Written by Kristin Hoffmann
*Additional songwriters noted on individual songs
Produced and Engineered by Kristin Hoffmann and Darian Cunning in East Hampton, NY
Mixed and Additional Production by Ian Cross at Ruff Nation, PA
Additional Engineering by Walter Bass at Ruff Nation, PA
Mastered by Emily Lazar

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Kristin Hoffmann New Paltz, New York

"My goal is to spread love, light, peace and truth into the world through music and energetic frequency." – Kristin

Kristin Hoffmann is a singer/songwriter based in NYC. She studied at Juilliard Pre-College, has performed thousands of shows and toured with some musical greats! She was an artist on both Capitol Records and Interscope Records. She is the featured singer for Bella Gaia.
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